A PERSONAL MESSAGE FROM FOUNDER, KATE SMALLER, PH.D.
Besties² is the result of my personal and professional evolution thus far.
For years, I searched for a way to make the most of who I am. I grew up in an ambitious community, with a mother who was the breadwinner of our family. In many ways, I feel fortunate to have been raised with the belief that women can do anything. I was a high school basketball star and played in college at an Ivy League university. I went on to earn two master’s degrees and a PhD. I missed only one class to give birth to my twins and stayed up late for night classes, despite already being delirious from sleepless nights of feedings. I worked tirelessly to expand my therapy practice and pursue research because I know how privileged I have been to access the information I hold—knowledge that directly impacts people’s lives and well-being. I have felt a deep responsibility to share my expertise with as many people as possible.
It’s been a grueling process filled with self-doubt and insecurity, but I finally feel like I’ve landed because something recently became crystal clear to me:
In believing I could do anything, I came to believe I was supposed to do everything. Like so many women, I’ve spent my life balancing multiple roles—mom, stepmom, wife, psychotherapist, business owner, basketball coach—all while trying to hold onto my own identity. And through it all, my best friends have been there.
I feel lucky to have a group of best friends—my “besties.” They come from different phases of my life, they’re all different from one another, and they aren’t necessarily friends with each other. But each of them represents a part of me that I call upon. I cherish these women. They are who I turn to in moments of joy, sadness, exhaustion, and frustration. I turn to them when I need perspective, when I need to vent, or when I just need to laugh my butt off.
At the same time, I miss them. Many of these friendships are long-distance, separated by airline tickets and time zones. Because of that, I’ve often found myself turning to women I don’t even know for insight or a laugh. I find it cathartic to hear from women on social media, even if it’s just from the glow of my phone at night as I savor the only few minutes of free time in my day.
Yet, as a therapist and working woman, I also see a disconnect. Many of us feel lonely. We feel lucky if we have two or three besties we can count on, and many of us feel too busy and overwhelmed to take on more. But when I listen to women in my office expressing the same struggles, I can’t help but feel that our collective power has been divided into isolated selves.
This realization became even more personal when my daughter was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder. Her neurologist emphasized that peer acceptance would be one of the most important factors in her well-being and development. That struck me deeply. We all need to feel seen, valued, and included—not just children, but all of us. And yet, so often, we find ourselves disconnected, craving deeper bonds and a sense of belonging. That’s when I realized just how vital this is for every woman, not just those who face extraordinary challenges.
And yet, for whatever reason, when we are out in the world, we often cut each other down instead of lifting each other up. We all know it happens. We don’t like it, but it’s undeniable. The good news? We get to decide what to do with that.
That’s why I created Besties². From my personal and professional experience—and the research I’m conducting—I believe we can unleash our potential.
And let me be clear:
- It doesn’t mean getting along with every woman.
- It doesn’t mean having more besties than you have time for.
- It doesn’t mean striving for more than just being.
- It doesn’t mean moving mountains if you don’t want to. But it can, if you do.
Besties² is about reclaiming our lives and identities by helping each other feel seen, heard, and capable of whatever we authentically desire.
And my favorite part? We can do it while having an absolute BLAST. Empowerment isn’t just serious work—feminine strength includes knowing how to have a damn good time. And that? That is powerful.
So what does a Besties² retreat do for you?
- It’s a fun and relaxing girls’ trip getaway—one you can actually put on the calendar.
- It’s an eye-opening, transformative experience about the power of your friendships and your own potential.
- It’s a connection to a larger network of amazing women who are committed to building each other up, creating a safety net, and launching each other forward to take whatever healthy risks they need to shape their lives.
This is just the beginning. I hope you’ll be part of it. Now, more than ever.
Welcome to Besties²—where friendship fuels transformation.